Me: Hi mom, hows it going?
Patti: Just watched Survivor and was thrilled that Coach (asshole) the f-ing Dragon Slayer is done. JUSICE IS SERVED!
Posts Tagged ‘texts from patti’
Texts From Patti: Reality Television
Friday, May 29th, 2009
Texts from Patti: Susie Qs
Tuesday, April 21st, 2009
Patti: Tony, you left your q-tips!!
Me: I still have an untouched box of 500 from last time.
Patti: I got them for you! I’ll save them for next time you come home!
Texts from Patti: Trumping Donald
Monday, April 20th, 2009
Patti: OMG, Tony. You should have watched celebrity apprentice. You would have loved it, especially Joan Rivers!!
Texts From Patti: Travel
Saturday, March 28th, 2009
Mom: We’re leaving to go to Arkansas tomorrow morning instead.
Mom: Do you have my small pull luggage? I can’t find it, but if you have it, I will stop my search. Let me know asap!
Mom: Tony, skip it, I found it.
Mom: Do you think I should take my gun?
Me: Take it, but don’t get trigger happy.
Mom: ha!
Conclusion: Don’t fu(k with Patti!
Texts From Patti: Patti-O
Friday, March 27th, 2009
Mom: I love my patio set. Its a cream color though. I might have to paint it white to match that girl house on the pole. What do you think?
Me: I would have to see it, but it seems like cream patio furniture would appear stale
Mom: I will have no stale furniture, paint it is!
Mom: Tony, went to Farm & Fleet, they had spray paint on sale for 66 cents a can. I bought 4 cans and now my patio furniture is white and gorgeous!!!
Conclusion: Having a gay son is win-win.
Texts From Patti: Spring Has Sprung
Thursday, March 26th, 2009
Mom: Me and Nan are sitting out in the sun, I have short and tshirt on, in the back yard it is gorgeous! A beautiful day to be alive.
Mom: TONY, I AM IN PARADISE, I AM LAYING OUT IN THE SUN IN MY UNDERWARE, GLASS OF WINE, MUSIC. LIFE IS SOOOOO GOOD!
Conclusion: Patti had more than one glass of wine in between sending these texts.
Text-Mex
Tuesday, March 24th, 2009Totes starting a new series - Texts From Patti - devoted to sharing the amazingly ridic messages I receive from my mom. Its not the fact that she starts every text with
“Tony,” and ends it with “love mom,” it’s whats in the middle and I <3 her for it.