Mom: We’re leaving to go to Arkansas tomorrow morning instead.

Mom: Do you have my small pull luggage? I can’t find it, but if you have it, I will stop my search. Let me know asap!

Mom: Tony, skip it, I found it.

Mom: Do you think I should take my gun?

Me: Take it, but don’t get trigger happy.

Mom: ha!

Conclusion: Don’t fu(k with Patti!