Mom: I love my patio set. Its a cream color though. I might have to paint it white to match that girl house on the pole. What do you think?

Me: I would have to see it, but it seems like cream patio furniture would appear stale

Mom: I will have no stale furniture, paint it is!

Mom: Tony, went to Farm & Fleet, they had spray paint on sale for 66 cents a can. I bought 4 cans and now my patio furniture is white and gorgeous!!!

Conclusion: Having a gay son is win-win.