Archive for May, 2009

This Actually Exists

Sunday, May 31st, 2009

Latisse.

The first ever FDA-approved drug for thickening eyelashes. yes, a prescription for eyelashes. What kind of doctor do you even go to for such an “affliction?” The makeup doctor? It’s supposed to be for “insufficient lashes.” Who is determining what eyelash length/thickness is “sufficient?” The FDA?

This whole thing is such a joke that I just can’t imagine anyone seriously asking their doctor for some medicine for their f-ing eyelashes. Whatever happened to the notion of, “oh, that’s just the way I was born”? Now there has to be a medicine - a repair, or “quick fix” for absolutely everything? Can I at least get a pill for being too short??

Is That A Mouse/Chick?

Saturday, May 30th, 2009

Can someone tell us what in the sam hell is going on here?

Via Urlesque

Texts From Patti: Reality Television

Friday, May 29th, 2009

Me: Hi mom, hows it going?

Patti: Just watched Survivor and was thrilled that Coach (asshole) the f-ing Dragon Slayer is done. JUSICE IS SERVED!

Hot Prison Pals

Thursday, May 28th, 2009

If you’re looking for love, freeze and put your hands behind your back on the keyboard.

Now head over to HotPrisonPals.com. HPP brings you “pen pals” looking for love, they  just happen to be incarcerated.

If you think about it, a locked-up lover may be the way to go.
1. You always know where he is. 2.The chances of him cheating on you are significantly low. 3. He has plenty of time to work on his fitness.

Your potential murderer boyfriend picks a plan, pays via PayPal and boom. Let the match making begin.

Your Mate’s Rates:
HOT: $19/yr   -  200 words and 1 photo
REAL HOT:  $29/yr   -  300 words and 2 photos
MAJOR HOT:  $39/yr   -  400 words and 3 photos

A word to the wise, HPP strongly suggests you take every precautionary safeguard when communicating with the convicts people you meet through their service including:

  • Use a P.O. Box and not your home address for receiving mail from the inmates.
  • All inmate calls are collect calls. Don’t give out your phone number unless you expect to pay for the costs.
  • If you wish to find out any information on any inmate, contact their Prison for more details.
  • Looks can be deceiving but it might just be worth the risk.


    Via Thrillist

    Back to Skool Shoppin

    Wednesday, May 27th, 2009

    Tell me you don’t remember back to school shopping.

    -Supply lists
    -Pencil Boxes
    -Lisa Frank
    - Sniffing Buying rubber glue

    Don’t forget Chicagoans, school all year ’round can be fun!

    Superior Judgment: Black Box Wine

    Wednesday, May 27th, 2009

    Boxed wine gets a bad rap (damn you Franzia!) But the time has come. The time has come for you to think inside the box.
    If you’re over 23 and still judge boxed “whine” then you obvi haven’t tried Black Box.

    Why you needz to reconsider Boxed Wine:

    • That small box is equivalent to 4(!!) 750 ML Bottles
    • Seriously, buy a Red. The wine stays fresh for 4 weeks. You don’t need to refrigerate it, just belly up to your counter (see below)
    • Black Box wine’s tagline is “Think Inside the Box”

    In the words of Maggie Griffin “Tip it!”

    Black-Out Dates are increased via Black Box

    Lil’ Ole Lambert

    Wednesday, May 27th, 2009

    Do you think Adam Lambert didn’t win American Idol because he was “too tranny”?

    This isn’t about whether or not he “gay”.
    I just want to know, on a scale of 1 to 10, how frightening do you find him?
    I know it’s not his fault that years of wearing stage make-up is catching up with his skin.

    I’m not saying it’s a problem I couldn’t tell him apart from the members of KISS.

    Nor am I particularly offended by the shade of his foundation/mascara/bronzer/eyeliner.

    Adam is talented, I’m just unable to look at him directly in the eyes.

    image via socialitelife

    The Most Totes Obvi Of All: Phone Trannys

    Tuesday, May 26th, 2009

    And by trannys I mean transactions. Like for everyday items.
    Yes, this exists in more forward thinking places like Japan and Europe, but we need it here, too.

    The Trib had an article about how the RTA is thinking about implementing it. That means that you can swipe your card at a sensor that automatically deducts money from your account securely. Meaning you don’t have to have a card, a paper ticket, paper money, or anything to use the train. Just your phone! yay!

    Just imagine if this was implemented anywhere. Forget your wallet? Who cares…you can hit up Starbies with your celly, get that frappucino and be on the bus going to the movies, all paid for with your phone. Your phone becomes even more of a all-in-once device, keeping track of texts, calls, emails, GPS, appointments, music, and now your cash.

    I really like this idea but it’s not without its potential pitfalls. It only works in a few types of phones, first of all. So manufacturers will have to see a demand/need for this type of technology before they’re all on board to build them in automatically into phones. Secondly, what happens when you lose your phone? Or run out of batteries (happens a lot with an iPhone or android phone!)? How do we accomodate those who cannot afford or do not have the technology to use these types of devices?

    Clearly these are speedbumps on a fast track to greater integrating our devices into an automated society. If more companies in the US can get on board with 2D codes we will truly have one device for everything.

    Superior Judgment: Wendy’s Coffee Talk

    Tuesday, May 26th, 2009

    Try ordering a “Coffee Toffee Twisted Frosty” in the drive-thru without laughing. I dare you. It can’t be done.

    After some unscientific research, I uncovered The Wendy’s Innovation Path.
    Looks like the fast-food consumer of today is far more demanding than he/she was in the ’70s ’80s and ’90s.

    Wendy’s restaurants serve more than six hundred million Frostys per year. Vanilla accounts for about 40% of sales after one year.

    Open Letter: Kate (from Jon & Kate Plus 8 on TLC)

    Monday, May 25th, 2009

    Dear Kate,

    I didn’t think I liked you. Now I realize, I do.

    I just watched the season premiere of J&K+8 and realized, I just didn’t like you with Jon.
    You weren’t a good wife, but you are a damn good entrepreneur and you look pretty good now, girl.

    If I had 8 kids, my own television show and authored a book, I’d be a machine too.

    That said, if I was Jon, I would’ve bounced too. He was a good husband and is a great father but you forced him to do too much. Agree or not, looking forward to watching you this season.

    Warm Regards,
    Totes Obvi