It’s awful to say this, but totes true, that you can ascertain a fair amount about somebody based upon their clothing choice. This entry is all about the clothes that douche bags wear. I see it often. Yes, i’m passing judgment here. I don’t care.
Ed Hardy
Where Von Dutch left off, douche-dresser Christian Audigier has bastardized another underground classic in Ed Hardy. Ed Hardy is a well-known and
well-respected and very good tattoo artist. His traditional flash work is top-notch, as shown by this poster below.
However, these classic tattoo icons have now turned into douche-wear, and are emblazoned across bedazzled trucker hats and sweatpants all across the US. I actually HAVE a Don Ed Hardy shirt, before Christian Audigier started pumping this drivel out, but I can’t even wear it for fear someone recognizes the design as an Ed Hardy. Plus, it’s too small.
Affliction
I’m not sure when, where, or why these types of shirts become popular…they’re usually distressed, usually black or grey with black or grey screenprint on it, and usually worn by douche bags. Typically the print is an elaborate and indecipherable design involving script / olde english lettering and skulls, and starts at the neck and works its way down. Hey, it kind of reminds me of the last Hope Con LP cover!
True Religion Jeans
Thank god these seem to be on the downturn, because they’re terrible. Most jeans that feature boot-cut and weird stitching / fades / washes are pretty bad, and these are kind of the hallmark of those qualities. I also really dislike their pocket design. it’s like a horseshoe, or a u, or something.
Tap Out, and any MMA associated brands
Actually, Affliction may be one of those brands. Seriously, this shit is awful. It reminds me of seeing giagantic TAP OUT stickers on the back of jacked up pickups in LA. And you HAVE to be able to bench press 300 lbs / gel your faux hawk / date rape women to wear this too.
This also includes Metal Mulisha, who I think is somehow MMA related, but also motocross related (also - not a sport!) and somehow driving pimped out trucks related, and seriously douche bag related. I mean look at these jerks:
Famous Stars and Straps
Stars and STRAPS? are you kidding me? Is that a typo submitted to the copyright board or something that they had to stick to?? God it’s annoying. And so is this jerk:
That’s it for this segment. To play it safe, I guess what it comes down to is following this handy flow chart in determining if you’re a douche bag or not.
Tags: clothing, douchebags, fashion, jeans
You may not have to worry about TapOut anymore, seeing as how the artist behind the designs died tragically. He split his Lamborghini in half by a street pole. http://tiny.cc/VQrhr
Motocross isn’t a sport to you because you haven’t got the balls to do it!
actually…motocross isn’t a sport to me because you’re riding a fucking motorcycle around
how fucking gay are you? what is not considered douche-bag clothing to you? what angers you more, the fact that vaginas are so icky to you… or the fact that your pretentious “fashion sense” outweighs your ability to allow others to enjoy to wear what they want to wear. just because it does’nt say prada or versace, doesnt mean that it isnt stylish or even comfortable for that matter. and im sorry your “original” ed hardy does’nt fit anymore you fat bitch, maybe you should spend more time judging yourself than others.
plenty is not considered douche bag clothing to me. like adidas sambas, levi’s, and whatever else i happen to be wearing that day.
the fact that vaginas are icky has nothing to do it. i mean, have you ever seen one of those things? gross!
prada and versace are just as douchy but in an entirely homo way.
spending $80 on a teeshirt is retarded. doesn’t matter who makes it or how comfortable it is.
hey! that shirt is like a youth large.
First off, as for the whole Ed Hardy wear, I think it’s a wonderful way to get his art across since he no longer does tattoos anymore. I have many tattoos and all of them are traditional American style. What is so wrong about wearing tattoo art from a famous artist? It’s advertisement for him and his art. What if I started wearing my brothers art in t-shirt form? Or my tattoo shops work? It doesn’t matter, it’s art and art is beautiful no matter what style it is. If your so concerned about public appearances then obviously you have no self pride or self respect if you are so damn concerned about what other people wear.
I wear pretty much all of the brands of clothing that you mentioned and I have spent $120+ on several shirts in my closet. I am a nice, caring, compassionate inteligent guy. When you read this you should realize that clothing doesn’t make you a “douche” however, talking shit about someone else based on what they wear DOES make you a DOUCHE!
couldn’t agree more.
sadly, while searching desperately for some old school tattoo designs on the web
(studying tattoo apprentice), i couldn’t find anything other than this new bullshit.
it has truly saddened me to find ed hardy’s name, but not even his original designs on everything from hair dryers to children’s toys.
tapout makes me hate the world. and anyone wearing ed hardy’s name with a design by someone else should be executed with said clothing. i despise all of this fashion bullshit, and want to dump on anyone that wears it. to spend anything over $20 on clothing, aside from dresswear, is stupid. you faggots put way to much emphasis trying to look cool from the ladies with tattoo designs, but unless it’s on your skin, it only attracts other dude-bro douchebags. i hope don ed hardy’s spirit forces combustion on everyone else wearing his name around. and don’t get me started on women’s fashion.
-adam